its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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