new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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