it hurts more in the daytime
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my poor anus
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize