I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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