forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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