Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
