oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
