Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
