Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
