I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
