The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
