Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
