who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
FUCK WHALES
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