mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize