She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize