Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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