...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
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