So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
