Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
