dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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