try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
