He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
