I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
