There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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