Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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