He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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