Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just forgot I was standing up.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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