U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
