you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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