just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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