He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i love accidental penises.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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