either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
