I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
