you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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