Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
