no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
