My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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