I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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