i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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