i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
