My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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