YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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