So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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