There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
we should paint friendship bongs
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
