I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
