Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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