Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
