..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
