I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
