This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
