Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
