My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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