Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
