Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
