i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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