3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
