I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
