Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I didn't notice because vodka
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
