Ketchup is God's man juice
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize