Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
