How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
