your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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