I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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