I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I could fuck to npr.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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