yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
