there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
