he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
