bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
