My Higher Power is John Stamos
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
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