I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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